Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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