This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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