Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Boobs are out for the taking
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
