whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
