I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize