I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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