I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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