Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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