My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
