i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
