why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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