a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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