he wants to bone in the snuggie
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You are the jesus of drinking
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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