His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
