it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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