Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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