So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize