this boner is exhausting
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My life is pants optional.
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