She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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