weddingsv make me drug and hornr
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
