But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
