Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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