I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
