i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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