Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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