arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
