no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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