I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
