I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
