I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize