My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize