Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
