she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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