Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
