It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
