in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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