so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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