Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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