You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
