Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
