I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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