So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
