I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
