Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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