two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
