Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize