Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
