May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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