ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
