I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
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Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
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I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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