Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
