Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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