Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I love you. Go after that dick
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