Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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