No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
