she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
