But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I currently don't understand fingers.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize